Book 3 - The Many Charms of Mrs. Quarterhorse
The many charms of Mrs. Quarterhorse include her haughty manner, her eagerness to ridicule me for my shortcomings, her ability to spin a shillelagh like a majorette’s baton, her eight-course meals consisting of only desserts, and her disgust with humanity, particularly her disgust with the pilgrims who have made a Holy Shrine of her very unholy house. Mrs. Quarterhorse and I are now alone under her miraculous but shaky roof, tormented by our darkest fears, and perhaps also by a mob that may or may not lurk in the murky wasteland, lurching nearer every day. Mrs. Quarterhorse promises that soon we will be on our way to Greece for a holiday much needed but little deserved. Our luggage is packed and ready to go, yet here we remain. Why? What terrible secret is keeping us here, alone and vulnerable in the middle of the desert?
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The following is an excerpt from an interview between publisher Georges Presse and the author.
GEORGES PRESSE: Mrs. Quarterhorse is not particularly charming in this story. She’s more neurotic than usual.
S. C. MARCHERE: The title is meant to be read ironically. It refers more to the various actual charms that fill the story. The Saints medallions I wear around my neck, for instance, and the one Mrs. Quarterhorse wears on her wrist. Her house becomes a charm, a Holy Site for pilgrims. Our bikes even, they’re charms of a sort.
GP: I was surprised by how big a role your two bicycles play in this story.
SCM: They’re beautiful bikes.
GP: I was also surprised by the introduction of a new love interest for Mrs. Quarterhorse.
SCM: You don’t mean the Colonel? He’s not really a love interest.
GP: Oh yes he is.
SCM: I don’t want you to give the wrong impression to potential readers.
GP: But she likes him, right?
SCM: Of course she likes him. I like him too. He’s likeable.
GP: I’m only trying to help sell this book. Do you want people thinking it’s a chaste story about bicycles?
SCM: It’s not that any more than it’s a romance. It’s about Mrs. Quarterhorse and me holed up in her peculiar old house, taking on little adventures, packing for an upcoming holiday, staying up late and chatting in bed.
GP: That’s the worst book description I’ve ever heard.
SCM: Fine, you describe it.
GP: The story is too peculiar to describe. Let’s talk about the cover instead.
SCM: It turned out pretty good, I think.
GP: Why is Mrs. Quarterhorse wearing a deep sea diving helmet?
SCM: Because the story takes place in a desert of unbreathable air. Figuratively as well as literally.
GP: Why is she painting one of the medallions?
SCM: Because, as you know—unless you’re lying about having read the book—a painting of hers plays an important part in the story. It is another one of the charms of the title, by the way.
GP: About that painting…
SCM: I’d rather not discuss the painting. Let the reader deal with the chapter about the painting when they come to it.
GP: It’s not true, is it?
SCM: I wouldn’t have included it otherwise, as it is so thoroughly unbelievable.
GP: It’s too bad you don’t want to discuss the painting, because it’s the best part of the book.
SCM: It isn’t, and I don’t want to be visited by Interpol.
GP: Getting arrested would be good publicity.
SCM: If I’m going to be arrested, I’d rather it be for strangling you.
GP: Your hands are too small.
SCM: No, your neck is too fat.
The Many Charms of Mrs. Quarterhorse is the third book in the Mrs. Quarterhorse series.